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Friday, May 16, 2008

How things change when...

Yesterday my daughter had surgery on her shoulder. It was outpatient surgery, but hubby and I were both there with her along with our son-in-law. This was a new experience for us. We were not the "responsible party" for her. We were not consulted. We were not called when it was time to see her just before she was whisked away to surgery. We had to wait for permission. The doctor didn't invite us to the debriefing afterwards. We had to be invited. Its not that our son-in-law didn't invite us. We have a wonderful relationship with him and he just looked at us as if to say, "aren't you coming?"

How things change when a child gets married. Parents are no longer at the top of the priority list. They move to second place. And well they should! Its just that this was the first time it was really obvious for us. It felt weird and good. We realized that our lovely young daughter was truely grown, had chosen a good man, but still needed us just a little bit since she asked us to be there. It was weird to step back and watch them interact, not as this young couple playing at marriage through the wedding process, but actually working through something of importance and knowing how to handle it. They've been married just a year.

Hubby and I looked at each other at the end of the day and knew we had learned a lot. We knew our daughter would recover from her surgery and do well. We learned that she was a strong woman. We learned that our son-in-law is as fine a man as we originally thought. We learned that their marriage has a strong chance of surviving the many problems life will throw at them. We learned that we, as parents, did a pretty good job raising her afterall the diaper rashes, childhood bumps, bruises, and illnesses, afterall the scary teenage years of rebellion, temptations and boyfriends, afterall the young adulthood of slowly letting go into the real world, afterall.

Yes, I'd say things change when children get married, afterall...

That's just my view,
Wendy

2 comments:

~Banjo said...

Hi Wendy. I have a couple of things in common with u. (1)I am new to this blogging thing-(i hardly knew what it was til I accidently ran across 'The Creators Palette', & mustered the courage to try & do my own.)(2) I also have chronic illness, (but I use my mobile ph which lets me 'surf the net' while resting in my recliner chair.) (3) I used to ride in my parents' sidecar when I was little. So pop over & say hi, if u like...

~Banjo said...

PS That's a nice looking bike! I'd like to hear about it & yr rides...even the short ones (to the shops! Or wherever) gosh, I miss riding...
I enjoyed reading this post, u must be a good mum to think like that.